Disconnected?

There are times that we act in ways that make us think that we are disconnected from Hashem. It is only when we subsequently wake up and decide to reignite the connection to Hashem that we realize that we were connected all along. We ha just been blind to the connection temporarily. Our sages teach us that there are things which we are unable to comprehend until we first transgress them. There are relationships which we cannot appreciate until we first harm them. It is only through the process of breaking down and rebuilding that we can truly understand something.

The Jewish Nation at the time of Purim felt that they had lost their connection to God. They surrendered to their pessimism by indulging in the party of Achasverosh, despite the fact that he was utilizing the vessels of the destroyed Temple in Yerushalyim for the feast. Despairing as they were of seeing the Temple rebuilt and feeling that their behaviors had caused irreparable harm to their divine relationship, they saw no need to protect the relationship. They went all out and partied, forgetting who they were.

Haman himself picked up on this telling the king that the God of the Jews was asleep and wold not protect them. If the Jews felt they had no connection, why should Haman see one?

In the wake of the salvation, as they looked back at the chain of events and saw the hand of Hashem stretching over many years to protect them, they realized that even when they thought they had been despised by God, they really had not been. It was only true in their eyes; it was not reality.

The Talmud applies the verse (Lev. 26) that I have not despised you nor been disgusted by you to this time. Hashem is saying that no matter the situation, no matter how grave it looks, I still love you and want to connect to you. Anything else is a mirage from your point of view.

These points can be true in interpersonal relationships as well. Sometimes in our own anger, confusion and bitterness and feelings of rejection because of earlier incidents in our lives, we can feel that someone is rejecting us, when they mean to do nothing of the sort. And sadly, sometimes it may take pushing that relationship until it almost breaks, before we realize that.